Category Archives: Musings and Meanderings

Change Your Thinking . . .

I tweeted this earlier, but it bears repeating.

I’ve heard it said, “True freedom is not about having money. It’s about waking up every morning with joy in your heart, looking forward to your day, and loving what you do!” I am FREE, are you?

Change your thinking, and you’ll change your life, has been my motto for a few years now. It’s wasn’t easy at first, all those negative thoughts in my head, conditioned from years of listening to negative speakers, and negative thinkers. Conditioned and relayed through the negative messages of this world, and I swallowed it, hook, line and sinker. (So sorry for the cliche, but it’s apropos.) One day back then, I grew my own brain.

It was because of something I read, though today, I can’t remember exactly what it was, but it changed the course of my life. I realized that day, life is not about a destination. It’s not about reaching a final goal, or crossing a finish line somewhere up ahead in the distance, in the future, no. Instead, it’s all about the journey of life. The days I/we travel, sometimes trudge through, as if walking through quicksand, getting mired in the quest, but it’s all a part of the journey of life. Not all days are great days, and not all days are difficult days. If we’d only realize that the good, the bad, the somewhat, ahem days and the brilliant days, filled with all the good things of this life, is the course and nature of our lives, we’d all be so much happier! The thing of it is, when you can say to yourself on those days that are taxing and seem like they’ll never end, “This too shall pass,” and realize through every valley there is a peak, you’ll breathe easier knowing a rainbow follows every storm. It helps us to appreciate those brilliant days.

So, one day, I changed my thinking. Every time I had a negative thought, every time I told myself I wasn’t good enough, I wasn’t smart enough, I wasn’t a good enough writer, or I didn’t deserve better, or believed I was nothing as I was told by my father, I consciously stopped myself in my tracks and turned my thoughts around! I said instead, “I am good enough. I’m somebody. I have promise. I have dreams that are attainable. I’m a good person. I deserve better.” And, every time I believed I was a failure, or I had nothing, I turned that around too. Instead of speaking the things I didn‘t want from this life, I began speaking the things I DO want!

For example, instead of saying I’m broke, or I’m sick, or I don’t have this or that, I now say, I have enough to pay my bills and buy groceries, and more will come when it’s time, and it seems my money always stretches. Instead of saying I’m sick, I say instead, I’m healthy and this is just a cold which will go away, and I always feel better sooner, rather than later. I don’t use poisonous flea treatments on my little West Highland Terrier, Angel, so I always worried and said, Please don’t let him get fleas. Guess what? He’d end up with a flea on him! Now I say, he’s flea-free! And guess what, and praise Almighty, he doesn’t get fleas anymore! Not one!

You see, what happens is, when you think or speak negative things, you’re actually drawing that energy from the universe. What you fear will come, because you dwell upon it, and fear is a strong emotion, so trust me when I say, those negative things will come. All those negative things you don’t want in your life. So turn your thinking and your speech around, and you’ll start drawing the things you DO want. I’m not kidding. I want every one I know, every one who reads this to feel the joy I feel. And in case you might be wondering, no I don’t feel happy clappy, easy-peasy every single day, but I don’t stress about it, because I know every one has an off day once in a while. I get through that day as best I can, continually reminding myself that, this too shall pass, and consciously turning my thoughts to the positive and before I know it, I’m through it and on to the next day feeling sunny and happy!

It didn’t happen for me overnight, and it probably won’t for you either. It took a while to condition and force myself to see only the positive, to think of positive thoughts, to learn how to change my negative speech into positive speech, and I’m still learning, only now, I’m conscious of what I say. I don’t say things like, “Go to hell,” to someone. I don’t damn myself or those I know, because those are negative traits. I try hard not to judge or condemn others knowing every one has their own crosses to bear, but I know for a fact, those crosses become less of a burden when you change your thinking. I want to be as uplifting as I can be to myself and others. I want to bless people with my trials and errors, and my success at what I know to be tried and true, because I’m the proof of the matter.

If you wait in this life to reach your destination, trust me when I say, you’ll have died before that happens and you’ll have spent your life waiting for nothing. Let go of the negative thoughts in your mind, and let go of the negative words you speak. Let go of old hurts, sorrows and stress, guilt, hate, and judgement; people are not ours to judge. Realize every thing happens for a reason, and there is a season for ALL things. What you desire comes to you just when it’s supposed to, in the way that you have need of it. Trust those truths. Turn yourself around, face the light of the sun, experience the stars in all their glory. Think lightly, positively and keep at it until you don’t have to think about it anymore, it’ll come naturally; and I promise you, YOU will start to change. Your LIFE will start to change. You’ll see more of the things you desire begin happening! And don’t stop, keep going and enjoy YOUR JOURNEY, because it is, after all, YOUR journey to enjoy! I’m enjoying mine, I’m happy and fulfilled, I’m still and always will be a student of life, and I love it, because that’s the way I roll and I’m Just Me . . .

Thank you for taking the time to read my meanderings and as always, please be so kind as to leave a comment, and if you enjoy what you’ve read here, please SHARE ME! 😀

If you are a Writer, this is for YOU . .

Now I sit me down to write,

I pray the words will come out right,

I pray for knowledge, confidence, and wit,

I pray my words, someones’ heart they’ll hit.

I pray my spelling and grammar are right,

And I pray my writing won’t take all night.

But if it does, then this I ask,

That there be nearby a very full flask,

Of knowledge, candlelight, and much loved wine,

To get me through this darkened time.

I pray the words I write will speak to a soul,

Who may have need of a story I’ve told.

Perhaps a quip, a rhyme, or a novel about glory,

But it was through prayer God breathed breath into my story.

Amen.

Happy Thanksgiving

To all my family and friends, near and far, I wish you a happy and blessed Thanksgiving Day!
It occurred to me that it’s kind of funny that we spend days in preparation for this one day, this one meal and I’ve pondered why . . .

Yes, while it’s true that we celebrate the bounty of the harvest on this traditional day, and it’s true that we celebrate our gratitude for family and friends, but do we really know what it is we are grateful for? I think I have learned the meaning of gratitude this past year. So much has happened over the last 11 months, things that I would’ve have never thought were survivable , but they were, and in the end, they made me stronger and more resilient and more . . . bendy. (lol) I’ve been stretched to the limits this year in every way possible, both awesome, and not so awesome. Major financial woes, multiple losses of little furry friends, and family health issues, along with my little Westie, Angel having cancer and going through surgery, but then the good stuff happened in there too! Major good stuff, like true miracles such as the birth of my Granddaughter, MaryJane. And then, even though my Angel had cancer, the surgery got all of it out and he’s on his way back to excellent health! Who knew one little white doggie could survive something so horrible and live to wag his tail again! He’s been the bravest of the brave!
And then there are the thousands of miracles that happen daily like the smile of a friend. The touch of my mom’s hand. The kissie monster from my Angel, and the coos and squeaks of my Lil’ Mouse, MaryJane. Sometimes, just having a hot cuppa tea at the end of the day is a miracle to me and the gratitude I feel to be able to smile at the end of the day, and say, Thank you Lord for getting me through one more day is a miracle and a blessing!
Things like being given the ability to write and finish a story. This year, I’ve written 5 novella’s, two partial novels and finished my full-length Memoir plus multiple short stories! The gratitude for the talent I’ve been entrusted with is immense!

So many, many things have happened that have taught me the meaning of true gratitude. And so as I enjoy a bountiful feast with family this Thanksgiving, I pray Father will continue to build me and help me learn the lessons I’ve yet to learn, and I hope that He will always keep me in His palm, gently teaching me and guiding me as I learn to be ever grateful, which makes me kinder and more compassionate towards others needs! I’m grateful for what I have learned this year and will continue to learn as I walk daily through this crazy thing called life! I am thankful that God is with me through all things . . .

Be blessed, my friends. <3

I’m Just Me . . .

So here I am! Finally up and running on my new website and I’m so excited to finally have one. There’s not much to see here yet, and I’m still learning the ropes as I figure out how to add links and make it look prettier, but I’ll be adding posts as fast as I can, which, if you know me, shouldn’t be too long.

And if you do already know me, “Hiya! So excited to see you here;” then you know I’m usually off somewhere quiet and peaceful writing my heart out, creating short stories for competitions and  Literary Magazines, or working on a new Novella or Novel to submit to Agents and Publishers alike, or dare I say, even writing Poetry! (shudders!) And I’m going to write little flash fiction pieces for you to read here as we travel along through this journey so you can get to know, not just me, but my writing style too. So, this ought to be a lot of fun as I get accustomed to my new website.

For those new to the getting-to-know-me part of us, I say, “Welcome new friend, I hope you like what you see, and stick around for a while or keep stopping by to see what’s what, and what’s new.

For those who are friends to me, and to those who are new friends, be it in person or online, I’m working hard for my passion of writing and I don’t forget my friends or where I come from, so if you’re journeying through this incredible experience with me, traveling upon the high seas and heading to the land of Writer’s bliss, then I hope to be able to come up with unique ways to reward your steadfastness and faithfulness along the way. For now, what I can offer you is my deepest gratitude for being here and remaining my traveling companion and gosh I’m happy to have your company!

Yours very truly,

Pattyann

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A Moment In The Sun

Just a meander . . .

I lay back on my blanket, having a moment in the Sun. I go from ordinary to extraordinary, and close my eyes! I feel the Sun warm my browning skin, dancing on the surface of my body like butterflies alighting and dancing across me. I hear the gentle sigh of the breezes as they move past my ears, and I’m enchanted by the sound. The birds are chirping happily in the boughs above me, as the sun dappled tree tops gently sway. I am whisked away to imagination, and, it, is, extraordinary!

There’s so much more to life, I know, then four walls and struggles, as I transport my mind to . . .

The freedom to be myself, deep, unfettered, unwavering. Take the time to understand me, not just know me, but know me. Dig deeper to get to me. Share those parts of yourself with me and let’s trust each other with our deepest, most honest truths. True freedom. To be who I am, and know that I’m accepted. Loved. Needed. Beautiful.

Do you want to know who I am? Take the time to see.

I’ve scaled the tallest of Mountains standing in the midst of the most secluded, pristine forests. I was alone. I walked in quiet solitude as I learned of my strengths, my bravery. I saw my weaknesses and overcame them as I scaled the slopes of the summit, and came out on the pinnacle of self-awareness.

I’ve swam the deepest, murkiest of water in the greatest, most vast Ocean. I was alone. I swam in solitude as I learned of my deepest burdens, and worst fears. I saw them and overcame them as I willingly swam to the depths of that Ocean and then broke the surface of achievement over the darkness.

I’ve floated in Outer Space. The quiet was overwhelming and frightening. I was alone. The only voice I heard was my own as I faced all the uncertainties and challenges life has handed me so far. I went to places that no other man or woman had traversed before, to face the emptiness inside of me, and what I found there was, that I am connected, to you, to myself, to a tether of all the positive energy of the universe.

I’ve walked through the desert, barren, void, arid. I was alone. I reached mirage after mirage, hoping that I had found water, and in spite of my debilitating thirst, I continued to the next oasis until I found what I sought . . . knowledge. I had climbed the sands of time, to realize I haven’t learned all there is to know. I need to learn more, but in realizing that, I understand that to learn I must have the desire to learn, and so I shall.

I’ve walked beside calm lakes, and through snowy fields, through turbulence and calamity, peace and kindness. I’ve stroked the most magnificent beasts, and the tamest of lambs. I’ve loved all manner of creatures and a single blade of grass, a rainbow, and the stars, and what I found through laying still and knowing that I am, is that where I am, where I walk and who I love, God is with me in all things. And where I thought I traveled alone, He was with me every step of the way. I’ve found healing and unconditional love, I found my soul, I found me. As the Sun continues to warm my skin I remember all that I’ve overcome, and imagine all the possibilities of this life that have yet to come. I know as I lay on my blanket, reveling in the warmth, that I am healed, I am whole, and I’m Just Me . . .

A Play On Words . . . BeLIEve, Write, Read!!!

Wait for it! It’s quite the ride at the end when you read it!

It’s been a busy day for me here on the East Coast of North America, and I’m just sitting down to my laptop for the first time today, and it’s Four-thirty in the afternoon! It’s too late in the day to really delve into writing either of my books, or edit a short story or Two since it’s almost the dinner hour, and then I’m going to visit with family after, so what’s a girl to do? Well. . . if you’re me, you sit to write a blog! And so, that’s what I’m doing.

Today’s Blog doesn’t really have anything to do with writing, other than, I’m writing it, so instead, it’s going to be a meander through my thoughts. Well, maybe it’s about writing too, and to use the words of the antagonist in my book, ‘TTITC,’ “I’ll get to it then!” Okay, here we go! Here’s what I’ve been thinking about today –

Is it only myself, or do you find it odd that the word, ‘believe’ contains the word, ‘lie’ hidden right smack dab in the middle of it? The word, ‘belie’ is also hidden inside the word, ‘believe,’ and since I know that ‘belie’ means, ‘to prove untrue,’ and ‘lie’ means, ‘to make an intentional false statement,’ well, it caused me to think about it. I know that there are many other words inside the word ‘believe,’ like ‘live,’ and ‘be,’ as well as others, but it was the word ‘lie’ in particular that got to me. Here’s what happened –

I was enjoying a nice healthy salad for lunch today, and I was enjoying said salad at the dining room table. I chose the seat facing the kitchen so I could gaze outside through the patio door while I was eating and I happened to look into the kitchen. Now that’s not so important, but what I saw in the kitchen is! My roomies have a sign with a black background and green writing on the wall behind the stove that reads simply, ‘BELIEVE.’

Well, I can tell you, I’ve looked at this sign everyday for the last seven months, and then today, I’m not sure what happened, but I really noticed it for the first time! And then it struck me right between the eyes! The word ‘LIE’ is right in the middle of the word ‘BELIEVE!’ I don’t know why I find this an epiphany, but I do! Here’s what I’m thinking –

I have to wonder if the creator of the word ‘believe’ meant for hidden words with the opposite understanding and meanings to be in there? Or, was it a Freudian slip? I mean, think about this. The word ‘believe’ means, ‘to accept that something is true.’ So, what? Accidentally hidden in the word, there are the words belie, and lie, which mean untrue, and false, respectively? Hmmm. . .

Belief is really a hard thing for me to come by sometimes. Oh sure, I’ve been gullible in the past to believe people who have lied to me, and maybe I’m still gullible when it comes to what others tell me, but now, I know I’m gullible when it comes to my own thinking too! I believe my own lies and belie the truth with more lies! Follow? No, I didn’t think so. Let’s try this? Here comes the writing stuff.

I get up in the morning, and I say to myself, “Self? I’m going to write today, and what I write is going to be great!” I can already feel that the day is going to be fantastic, because I woke up with the belief that I’m going to write something great that day!

Now, as good as that makes me feel, Self steps ups and belies my belief with its lies and says back to me, “Really? You’re not that great a Writer, so, who are you fooling? It’s a lie!”

And now belief in myself is blown and has flown out the window, and I spend the first half of my day, belying what Self is trying to convince me of, in saying I lied to myself first thing when I woke!

Are you following this? I thought I’d play with the words a little bit, and it’s really kind of fun too! It’s a true story. And I know and believe it’s a true story, because it happens to me every day!

So let’s recap. I wake and believe that it’s going to be a great day of writing, and that I’m a good Writer. Then that stupid little voice of self, or more accurately, self-doubt creeps in, and belies my belief that I’m a good Writer, and that it’s going to be a great day, and lies to me, telling me that I lied to myself because I stink! Sigh. Now I spend the first half of my day, belying (proving untrue) what self-doubt has lied (made a false statement) to me about, and have to convince myself to believe (accept that it’s true) that I’m good; good enough to put my words on paper and have other people read what I write, wrote, and will write, right? And then I write right, as in correctly, for the rest of the day, and create a Rede that I believe in, so you can then read the Rede (creed) that I’ve written for myself, and perhaps my Rede should just say, “BELIEVE!” Phew! Got that?

Now isn’t all of that just, silly? All because, I believe not in the lie, but in ‘believing,’ because, I’m Just Me. . .